November 2014 – Susan York

Happy Thanksgiving friends. This time of year, I’m reminded of the many hundreds of things, we have to be thankful for. It’s easy to lose our attitude of thankfulness in this messy world. Everyday we’re inundated with news stories, words and images of hate, anger and violence. Every device we own spews negativity; our entire world is in turmoil.

Add to that, THE HOLIDAYS and you have sadness, loneliness, regrets and fear. Then add your FAMILY. The in-laws, out-laws, freaks, perverts and assholes who raised you. Folks, don’t just teach your kids to be cautious of strangers. It’s the kin folks who hurt you. They have every weapon and tool they need, accessibility, proximity, trust and authority. People hurt each other. We just do and even if you’ve dealt with it, holidays are a major source of anxiety for a lot of people.

No holiday would be complete, if we don’t throw in some ALCOHOL and/or DRUGS. With all the fear, regret, pain and weakness brought on by stress, drugs and alcohol or the lack there of, are a huge factor for many families. I need booze to deal with my family, just sayin. They need it to deal with me. Not really, but I enjoy having a drink or two when I’m out in the country or at the lake with relatives. I’ve had one too many, too many times and it’s all in good fun until someone spouts off and someone else gets mad. Then all hell breaks loose.

I hear it from friends and clients. Most of them are otherwise healthy, content and rational people. Most of them love Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. Most of them express to me, feelings of apprehension or concern. Some of them, are in panic mode. Did you know, your family members want to punch you in your bitchy face? Well they do.

Guess what? Your grandkids hate your fruit cake. Your grandparents love you and want to spend time with you. Aunt Bitch Tits is jealous of your success. Uncle Chester, who ruined your childhood, is more afraid of you now, because you have secrets that would ruin lives. Family is messy and many of us dread THE HOLIDAYS. It was Christmas a few years ago, when my own sister threw me down the steps of my mama’s trailer house. It was a miscommunication, we’ve resolved that. Love you D.

Every single person I’ve ever met has had a weird, trashy, loud or stupid family member/members. It might be you! : ) Family dysfunction is a given, so what do we do to alleviate some of the stress and pressure? I believe, much relief lies, in the essence of Thanksgiving. Many spiritual belief systems focus on the teaching and practice of thanksgiving. I practice thanksgiving/gratitude daily. Yes, I’m aware of current global, national, state and personal issues. I don’t allow myself to wallow in it. When I focus on what I have be grateful for, I can’t obsess over all the things I don’t have.

It really works, I tried it. For a couple years now, I’ve been following my dreams. For every day I get to do what I love, I’m grateful. Every day I get to create, I’m grateful. If you must, set a reminder to be thankful for something. You woke up, that’s awesome. Be thankful, if only for your life. Now think beyond and find something else. It snow balls. Next thing you know, you aren’t upset because you don’t have a better house, truck, boobs, kids, parents. What I have is enough. I really said that. “What I have is enough.” Furthermore, I’m enough. I’m imperfect and I’m good enough (ever so grateful for Brene’ Brown’s books “Daring Greatly” and “The Gifts of Imperfection. Life changing.)

When we share our gratitude with others, it explodes. Try giving your family and friends a reason to be thankful. Remind them of good memories, hold your grandma’s hands, forgive someone, ask forgiveness. It isn’t magic, it’s human nature. For me, forgiveness and gratitude are inseparable. They work together like rosemary and sage, also not magic. Some may ask, because of my lack of faith, to whom or what am I grateful?

I’m neither a believer, nor participant in religion things. I don’t claim to know a god or God. I hope to believe again and I look for reasons to believe. Until then I’m grateful to you, the universe, the goodness in people. I believe in and am grateful for love, trust, forgiveness and friendship. I believe in family, even when it’s crappy. I believe we should always error on the side of kindness. Give peace a chance, have a glass of wine, hug a tree, shoot a gun, race a car, smoke a toke, take a class, teach a class. In everything you do, be kind. That’s the same as love one another, I think.

Here are a few things I’m thankful for this year. I hope you enjoy and share this message of hope.